Alrighty passengers, settle into your seats and grab a giggle stick, because we’re about to embark on a hilarious journey through the world of train jokes! This article has more puns than a conductor’s nametag, so buckle up and prepare to derail with laughter.
Funny Train Jokes One Liners
- How do trains eat? They chew on choo choo choo!
- What do you call a train with no wheels? A station!
- Why did the train get detention? Because it was always loco-motive!
- What do you call a train that loves music? A rail-and-roll train!
- What sound does a surprised train make? Woah choo choo!
- Why did the birthday train get so many presents? Because it was on the right track!
- What do you call a train that wins a race? A first-placer locomotive!
- What do you call a train that’s afraid of the dark? A fright train!
- Why did the train conductor wear sunglasses? Because he was feeling station-ary!
- What do you call a train that’s great at shuffling cards? A track-dealer!
- This train ride is chugging along faster than my pet snail, Turbo!
- I wonder if the conductor has a special whistle for “juice box break”?
- My favorite part of the train ride? Watching the choo choo chase the clouds!
- Why did the train go to the doctor? Because it felt a little loco!
- I hope this train has enough snacks for a hungry choo choo like me!
- This train ride is the perfect time to practice my best train conductor impression: “All aboard!”
- Next stop: Playground!
- I wonder if the train wheels ever get tired?
- This train whistle is way cooler than my regular whistle at home.
- Maybe I can convince the conductor to let me steer the train for a bit… (with grown-up supervision, of course!)
- Why did the train wear a hat? Because it didn’t want to be loco-motive!
- What do you call a train that loves to play hide-and-seek? A choo-choo-choose train!
- I wonder if the train has a special seat for stuffed animals?
- This train ride is like a giant choo choo playground, with windows!
- Maybe I can build a pillow fort in my seat and pretend it’s a train car!
- Beep beep! Move over cars, the choo choo train is coming through! (For pretending with toy trains)
- This train ride is the perfect excuse to wear my pajamas all day!
- Shhh! I think I hear the train whispering secrets to the tracks!
- I wonder if the train has a bedtime story for when it goes to sleep at night?
- Maybe I can draw a picture of all the cool things I see from the train window!
Here are 40 more train one-liners for kids:
Punny:
- What do you call a train that’s always late? A slowcomotive!
- Why did the train get a speeding ticket? It was going off the rails!
- What do you call a scared train? A fright train!
- I tried to catch fog on the train ride, but I mist.
- This train journey is loco-motive! (loco = crazy)
Silly:
- The train conductor said, “Please don’t feed the passengers!”
- I wonder if the train has a special whistle for “bathroom break”?
- My favorite part of the train ride is watching the choo choo chase its own tail!
- I hope this train has a slide instead of stairs!
- Maybe I can convince the conductor to let me honk the train whistle… with my nose!
Animal Sounds:
- This train sounds like a giant snoring dragon!
- The train whistle sounds like a happy cow!
- I wonder if the train wheels ever sing a choo choo choo song?
- Maybe the train is talking to the birds with its whistle!
- This train ride is like a choo choo safari, with all the sights and sounds!
Imaginative:
- I wonder if the train has a special birthday song for choo choo trains!
- This train ride must be taking us to a magical land of candy and toys!
- Maybe the train conductor is secretly a superhero in disguise!
- I wonder if the train has a best friend – another train it races with sometimes!
- This train journey feels like we’re flying through the clouds!
Rhyming:
- The train ride is long, but the time will fly by with a song!
- The scenery is grand, mountains and fields, right outside the train window we hold!
- Choo choo choo, the train goes fast, where will this adventure lead us at last?
- Snacks and drinks, what a delight, makes the train ride extra bright!
- Buckle up tight, hold on with glee, the train ride’s an adventure for you and me!
More Puns
- This train feels like a choo choo caterpillar, munching its way through the countryside.
- The train tracks look like a giant metal zipper, zipping us across the land.
- Maybe the train conductor has a secret map that shows where all the best puddles are for splashing! (For rainy days)
- I wonder if the train has a special whistle for “look at that cool bug!”
- This train journey feels like we’re riding on a giant, friendly snake, slithering through the landscape.
- The train conductor announced, “Next stop: Rainbow Land!” (For a trip with a scenic overlook)
- Maybe I can build a fort out of train snacks – banana towers and cheese walls!
- This train ride is like a choo choo treasure hunt, searching for hidden sights out the window.
- I wonder if the train has a special bedtime story for the stars it sees every night?
- Maybe I can draw a comic book about a superhero train who saves the day!
More
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Q: What do you call a really chatty train driver? A: A conductor with a lot of loco-motion to talk about! (Loco = crazy)
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Q: Why did the train inspector get fired? A: He kept getting derailed by donut shops!
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Q: Why did the passengers cheer when the train went through a tunnel? A: They were tired of the conductor’s terrible singing!
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Q: What did the train conductor say to the passenger who couldn’t find their seat? A: “Don’t worry, we’ll have you de-tracked in no time!”
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Q: What do you call a train that’s always late for its appointments? A: A procrastinator express!
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Q: What do you call a train full of tired firefighters? A: A snooze-crew!
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Q: Why did the train conductor wear sunglasses?
A: Because he was feeling station-ary! -
Q: What do you call a train that loves to play hide-and-seek?
A: A choo-choo-choose train! -
Q: What’s the difference between a train and a lazy river? A: The train eventually gets you somewhere!
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Q: How do you know a train is feeling under the weather? A: It keeps blowing its whistle!
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Q: What do you call a train that only goes in circles? A: A loop-o-motive!
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Q: Why did the train conductor get a speeding ticket? A: He was going off the rails!
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Q: What do you call a train that loves to gossip? A: A rumor-ailroad!
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Q: What do you call a train full of pancakes? A: A stack express!
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Q: Why did the train conductor get in trouble with the passengers? A: He kept telling them puns that were loco-motive!
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Q: What do you call a train that’s always losing its keys? A: A forgetful locomotive!
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Q: What did the train conductor say to the passenger who wouldn’t stop talking? A: “Next stop, silence!”
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Q: What do you call a train that loves to party? A: A choo-choo-ga-boogie train!
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Q: Why couldn’t the train conductor decide what to eat for lunch? A: He was always double-tracking his options!
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Q: What do you call a train that’s afraid of the dark? A: A fright train!
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Q: What do you call a train conductor who can’t remember their passengers’ names?
A: A memory lapse locomotive! -
Q: Why did the train get a detention after school?
A: Because it was always loco-motive in class! -
Q: What do you call a train that’s always losing races?
A: A slow-coach express!Few More -
Q: Why did the train conductor go to the library?
A: To check out some new branch lines! -
Q: What do you call a train that loves to tell jokes?
A: A pun-dit express! -
Q: Why did the train get kicked off the team?
A: Because it kept getting derailed! -
Q: What do you call a train that’s always on time?
A: A reliable choo-choo! -
Q: Why did the train conductor bring a sleeping bag to work?
A: Because he was feeling station-ary all day! -
Q: What do you call a train that’s full of artists?
A. A masterpiece express! -
Q: Why did the train driver get a speeding ticket?
A: Because he was going loco-motive! -
Q: What do you call a train that loves to play video games?
A: A choo-choo-choose train (gamer edition)! -
Q: Why did the train wear a scarf?
A: Because it was feeling a little drafty! -
Q: What do you call a train that loves to sing?
A: A karaoke locomotive! -
Q: What do you call a train that’s always hungry?
A: A snack express! -
Q: Why did the train driver need a bigger coffee cup?
A: Because he was feeling a little loco-motive! -
Q: What do you call a train that’s full of sleepy passengers?
A: A yawn express! -
Q: Why did the train driver wear sunglasses?
A: Because he was feeling bright and station-ary! -
Q: What do you call a train that’s always lost?
A: A directionally challenged locomotive! -
Q: What do you call a train that loves to read?
A: A bookworm express! -
Q: Why did the train driver get a promotion?
A: Because he was always on the right track! -
Q: What do you call a train with a flat tire?
A: A locomo-tired! -
Q: Why did the train need a nap?
A: Because it was feeling a little loco-motive! -
Q: What do you call a train that loves science experiments?
A: A choo-choo-mistry train! -
Q: Why did the train get a detention slip?
A: Because it kept getting into whistle-blowing arguments! -
Q: What do you call a train full of detectives?
A: A clue express! -
Q: Why did the train driver wear a raincoat?
A: Because he was feeling a little drizzly! -
Q: What do you call a train that loves to travel the world?
A: A globe-trotting locomotive! -
Q: Why did the train driver need a bigger alarm clock?
A: Because he was feeling a little loco-motive! -
Q: What do you call a train that loves to dance?
A: A choo-choo-boogie train (dance edition)! -
Q: Why did the train need a tune-up?
A. Because it was feeling a little out of sorts!
Did we miss any of your favorite train jokes? Let us know in the comments below, and we might just add them to our next collection!
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